Return of the Gizmocrat:
A Totally Subjective Review from Red Wing

By Tracy Ellyn

"Hmmm, we have no such person listed here."

Ring, ring... "Tom Servo's room, please."

"Tom S-E-R-V-O? Not at this hotel, ma'am..."

Fearing that Treasure Island security would soon be coming after me, I hung up the courtesy phone. Joel was too clever to use such obvious pseudonyms, if he was even in the hotel at all. And what the hell would I say if he answered, anyway? Disappointed, I joined the legion of gamblers in the casino, throwing quarters in the video poker machine to kill the remaining hours before the Scott Hansen benefit show.

Growing increasingly restless, I wandered over to the showroom and was absolutely taken by surprise: Joel was just outside the showroom doors, doing the meet-and-greet thing with fans. Holy Mother, I thought. This is the same guy who wore the jumpsuit and built the robots, only in living, breathing 3-D! And now he was standing not ten feet from me. How great was THAT?

I waited patiently to speak. Just as he was about to turn to an older couple, I butted in, introduced myself and my friend, and blathered on about how much I liked his work. Joel spoke softly, and his aggressive niceness was quite intoxicating, as was his adorable smile. Picture his character on Mystery Science Theater 3000, and that's essentially what you get. At least that's what I got :).

Opening up my purse, I gave Joel a picture of one of my cartoons of him in a tiny wooden frame. "Wow, you drew this?" he said, just staring at it and grinning. (Needless to say, I was thrilled.) At this point he turned to the older couple who were still standing to his right and introduced them as his parents, and his mother was nice enough to take our picture together. After he signed an autograph for my friend, we thanked him and moved along.

Oh yes, there was a comedy benefit, too. All of the comedians and comediennes put on an excellent show, making me laugh 'till tears were streaming down my face! But what I'd come all the way from Chicago to see was Joel's act. He was the fourth comedian to take the stage, and was introduced amidst the loudest applause and shouts from the audience. Wearing a brown suit and vest combination, I have to say that, from my admittedly biased viewpoint, Joel looked damned handsome on stage. Wow!

"Wasn't it beautiful coming out here today?" Joel asked, rummaging through a box. "Where the hell ARE we?" His act was like a "Greatest Hits" collection of props, including the Chiro-Gyro, balloon animals ("I make 157 kinds...but they all kinda look like dogs"), the "When I was a boy/Now I'm a man" routine of taking childhood diversions and applying power tools to them, and a brilliant concept in which Joel appeared to juggle water with ping-pong paddles, an elegantly simple illusion spiced up by audience participation. He introduced his"...manservant, Johnny Savoo," a turbaned assistant who was actually Tim Scott, the Miracle Growth Baby and I believe a former editor from MST3K. Joel ended his set by hauling out his Electric Bagpipes and singing a few bars of "Amazing Grace" along with the horrid sounds emanating from that invention!

Sorry to disappoint those looking for dirt, but aside from wishing that some other MST3K performers could have been there, I had a great time! I left the showroom on an evangelical high, happy to see that Joel still had It. Later that night, I snuck back to the little phone in the corner....

"Hello, may I speak to Vic Lawson....how about Clayton Forrester? No? OK, do you have a Joel Hodgson listed...?"

Endnotes

(2) I really called the front desk twice. Sicko.